Merry Christmas

To wish you all a very happy Christmas - I think we are the first to celebrate!

Beer Butt Chicken!

Now, the Kiwis are a strange bunch...maybe I have had a sheltered upbringing...I don't know? When I was in Bunnings Warehouse (possibly one of the greatest shops ever...) an old gentleman and I started chatting about BBQ recipes. After he had finished regaling me with his favourite, I called him a pervert and told him never to come near me or my family again. It takes a lot to perturb me, but this did.

By the time I got home curiosity had got the better of me, so onto Google I went. I jumped back in the car, drove to Bunnings and apologised to the old dude. I then stopped in at Countdown and bought a can of beer, and a 'chook' with the largest arse I could find.

Pictures paint a thousand words....

Can you guess what happens next?

Did you see that coming...?

The 'chook' is currently on the Barbie, it is looking good - I will update you with the results!

An artist in our midst!

I am absolutely, totally completely, comprehensively and utterly proud to announce that Jocelyn has produced her first piece of art!

For those of you that did not know, Jocelyn now goes to play group for 2 days a week. She has an absolute ball, and it allows the wonderful parents a small amount of freedom (well from 9 - 3 anyway!) to go and do things like drink coffee in town town or as we did today mountain biking. You would not believe how heavy she is on the back of your bike, and she is none to keen on the bumps either...but i digress....

So here is the first picture she has created, and yes, is is already on the fridge!

It must be worth millions....

What Mum and Dad get up to without the Scroggin!

Almost there!

Being the keen followers of the bench project that you all are, here is the first 'bench-up-date'

A few more bolts to slot in and she'll be finished! I shall let the pictures talk for themselves.

Cutting, sanding, staining....yet absolutely no swearing!

The few final touches (such as bolting the top on...) and almost done

The final picture will be done in the next few days, so those that bet against me had better get their money in the post....and before you ask, yes I do accept bank transfers, and no I do not take credit, debit or EFTPOS - but cheques are fine...(so long as the come with guarantee card).

A quick one from Lake Taupo

We are on our way up to Rotorua, and have justed passed through Taupo. A very cool place, and one we will visit again. Here are the pictures! More to follow from the Rotorua adventure!










- Posted from my iPhone

Mobile Blogging now underway!

Thank you for the kind BBQ comments thus far. I will be making a decision this weekend.

Be it gas or charcoal that you prefer, get your thoughts to me and help me decide!

I have now truly entered the 21st century, with this entry being made from the almighty iPhone. Life is now complete!

Look forward to more mobile blogging soon.


- Posted from my iPhone

Gas or Charcoal?

This being the first blog of December also makes it the first blog of summer.

With all the the lengths of timber cut to size, and nicely angled (no swearing thus far...) I realised that i would need a BBQ to go with it.

Here starts the great debate over gas or charcoal...

The Kiwis are fans of gas, yet i have always been a charcoal BBQ man. So what do i do? Charcoal is fairly hard to come by over here, and when you do, it is the lump wood rubbish, not the briquettes. So the odds are stacked in favour of gas before i even start.

There are some shiny examples of gas BBQs out there. You can get a six burner stainless steel monstrosity with variable this, that, and the other. Where does one begin?

I leave the forum open to you lot, to have your say.

vs

You're on!

There appears to be some doubt out there on my carpentry abilities.

$20 appears to have already been staked on my failing the task. I will take this bet, and all others.

There will be regular updates, and of course photos. My daughter will be present during the build, so this will negate any swearing on my part - so, Carrie, that part of the bet is taken care of.

Jesus was a carpenter - if he could do it, then so can I! I will not take the walking on water challenge though.

Again, watch this space you doubting types.....!

The design I shall be adopting...

Watch this space....

Another weekend, and another shopping trip with my daughter. Not quite so exciting this weekend I am afraid. There was no red-head, and I still have my old new wife (perfect that she is).

Unfortunately this weekends shopping trip was not quite as sexy as last weeks. It was, though, far more manly. It involved a slack jawed yokel named Bret, who sold me much timber and a power sander, amongst other things. I feel i should leave it there really.

Bret didn't have the same sort of 'Pizazz' that Jessica did, although he did have has a special flair with the circular saw, as he lopped my timber down to size......

I have decided that i am going to undertake a new project, and that it the building of a pub style bench/table. With BBQ season now on top of us, we will need somewhere to sit. As i was driving through town, i saw some of these for sale for a whacking NZ$99 (that is £42.64, or CA$74.63, or AU$77.40 for those of you from different nations). Always on the look out for a bargain, off i trotted to the local DIY place and picked up the requisite timber for a mere NZ$30 (if you want the conversions, do them yourself).

I have a sander, a saw, some nails, some protective woodstain, a Black and Decker Workmate and probably most importantly, the timber. How hard can this be? All you have to do is look at my previous carpentry, and you will have as much faith as I do; the door hanging - easy.

And if all else fails, Dad will be here in 3 weeks! Watch this space!

Liz has been creative as well! The bench will be better!

Who knew cardboard boxes could be so much fun?

At 42" England were big losers...!

I sit here now totally impressed with the tag-line pun I have just created. Before putting it in I ran it past my new wife (reason to follow), and she said at most it caused "...mild mirth..." at least she didn't say "...followed by sympathy...” Anyhow, I suppose I had better explain.

My new wife turned up on Saturday. She looks kind of like my old (yet devastatingly beautiful) wife, but different. I left my old wife at the hairdressers, and wandered off into town with Jocelyn staggering along beside me (it was a very, very slow wander. In fact it took me almost 45 minutes to go 100m). I eventually totally succumbed to the power of advertising and entered the "SUPER SATURDAY" sale in Harvey Norman (for the non Kiwi amongst you, it is a big department store akin to John Lewis). Being male, and without wife I headed straight for the electrical department thinking that I might be able to pick up a plug or maybe a new 13 amp fuse on the cheap. That is when Jessica sidetracked me. A red head in tight jeans, knee-high boots and tight T-shirt (before you start wondering, this is not my new wife). She asked me if she could help in any way, and not wanting to admit that I was on the scrounge for a new 13 amp fuse or something equally trivial said I was in the market for a brand new plasma screen TV.... fatal mistake. Jessica asked me what size I was after, and I again felt that my manliness was under intense scrutiny...was 32" to small, or 50" boasting?? So I took the middle ground and opted for 42". After selecting the 'Jo Average 42" I was faced with a plethora of new options, "...would Sir consider full HD or HD Ready? Will Sir require a Neo-Plasma or standard, bearing in mind that Neo-Plasma will reduce your carbon footprint? Gaming or not gaming? Sports or no sport?..." The barrage of questions was relentless. That is when Jocelyn took over. With Ice Age 3 playing on the sets, Jocelyn kindly crawled up and selected the screen on which Sid the Sloth was clearest and pleased her the most. Thankfully it was the non Neo-Plasma environment destruction model (I can't stand it when people talk to me about my carbon footprint). I was now so far down the line, and couldn't stand to disappoint my daughter, so I bought it. But only after I had the surge protector and screen cleaner thrown in...

In the end though I am glad to report that victory was mine! Jocelyn charmed Jessica enough that she threw in a Multi Coloured Turtle Massager.

Any way, I have digressed hugely. We wandered (slowly) out of Harvey Normans feeling good, and back to the salon where I had left my wife. I walked in and she was gone. I thought maybe she out the back having a blow dry and rinse (I believe that is what you females have done at these places) so I took a seat. Jocelyn ventured off and on my way to retrieve her; a stunning blonde caught my eye. I had the kind of guilty second glance that married men sometimes do, and realised that.... BONUS.......it was indeed my wife! Amazing what a new snip and bit of colour can do. (If anyone has any better ideas on how to phrase that last sentence without sounded hugely chauvinistic, let me know so I can change it).

So, there we go. A new T.V and a new wife. Excellent. Oh yeah and a Multi Coloured Turtle massager. Mega.

"Boris the Multi Coloured Turtle Massager"

"My 'new' wife and Baby J, the best TV chooser in town"

P.S - Tag line pun was to indicate that I had watched England loose to the All Blacks on my new super huge TV. In case you hadn't worked it out.

It's been a while!

Dear on-line diary....this has been neglected somewhat in recent days, so I shall attempt to resurect my random thoughts and 'stuff'.

A lot has happened since the last typings, including a little bit of work, a lot of play and a trip to the UK and back.

Starting with the work, I have been down to the South Island to a beautiful area called Lake Tekapo which sits in the shadow of Mount Cook and then proceeded to blow it up for 2 weeks. I felt a little guilty....I learnt a lot about my kiwi colleagues, and mainly that some of them have some super crazy ideas. The best must have been at the end of the exercise when we were approached by the guy running the show, and he asked (no word of a lie..) "....what you need to do now is go back into the training area and fill in all the holes you lot made..." I thought he was joking, and told him so, adding that he wasn't very funny....it turned out that he was deadly serious... I had to then explain to him that when a round lands, the dirt doesn't pile up neatly round the edges.....idiot....and that we had also fired nearly 2,000 rounds and that, quite frankly he could poke it....(I might have left the last part out....)

All in all it was a good exercise, the weather did the whole 4 seasons in a day thing but i am getting used to that out here! Never in my army career to date have I been to a training area and thought "...I am going to come back here......on holiday...", that is until now. We will be going back to Lake Tekapo over Summer. It is quite lovely.

Mount Cook

The "Old Church" Lake Tekapo

The play part has also been fun. Again, a few lessons learnt. The prime one being do not go drinking in on your birthday and spend till 4 in the morning getting people out of nick. It was a bloody good night though, and dare I say it, well worth the hassle!

We all trooped down to a food and wine festival in the Martinborough region last weekend with a couple of friends. As I had only returned from the UK the day before, i was feeling a little jet-lagged still and offered to be the sober driver. I quickly realised that this had been a rubbish idea, as not only were there some awesome wines on offer, but your ticket was a wine glass that fitted on a string around your neck...convenient huh? What a shame not to use it?! Luck was on my side as on the drive down, I had to pull over for one of the passengers (not Jocelyn) to decorate the pavement. The were automatically promoted to the position of driver, and i got on it! Drinking red-wine at 10am is cool. I put it down to the fact that I was on UK time still, and that i was indeed late for drink and should have started ay 7. The whole day was awesome, and we will be going next year for sure - i recommend you make the trip and join us.

Liz enjoying a blustery vino

Los Familio

And finally, you should all have a look at: http://gallery.me.com/chris.scott1530#100084

More to follow soon!

A long weekend away

Hi everyone, my apologies for not keeping up this blog while Christopher is away. As you can probably imagine, I've been very busy doing wifely tasks, cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning etc etc... Boo hoo.

So. This weekend I went away for 3 days with my friend Izzy to her family home towards the north of the island in a place called Tauranga. We stayed with her grandpa because his house is biggest, and he lives right on the edge of an estuary just over the water from Mount Maunganui. He grows organic avocados, apples, oranges and lemons for fun, and also takes part in soil research about the effects of organic farming methods on soil organisms. The house has a glorious view over the estuary as it is elevated about 50m above the water on the side of a fairly steep hill, which is where the orchard grows. Lucky old Izzy grew up here on the sea and took me kayaking round the coast and showed me the places she used to play with her cousins, who have for the most part also built houses within walking distance. Glorious!

We had a morning in Mount Maungaui and walked around the Mount, which is the inside of an old volcano, I forget what you call the feature but I expect most of you know what I mean - the rock around the outside has been eroded away just leaving a column of hard rock in the middle. It's very pretty and has a lovely little seaside town with (heaven forbid) high rise blocks of flats on the sea front. The cause a lot of consternation round here - they spoil the view, you see. Everyone was also concerned by the number of visitors the town had for so early on in the season. Mmm, not nearly as busy as Hastings on a weekday, but for NZ that is a lot of people!

We stopped into a craft fair on the way to the Irish pub for lunch, where I had a wonderful pint of Guinness - better than most you find in the UK, which surprised me! Of course I forgot to take the camera with me but with any luck we will get a return invitation and I will do better, I promise.

We also had a guided tour of some cousins houses. they grow chicken and pigs and sheep and horses and doves and turtles, and Jocelyn thoroughly enjoyed seeing them. She is very interested in all sorts of animals and was chatting away to them in a friendly fashion. Seems like a love of nature runs in the family - perhaps she will be a famous zoologist one day!

On Monday morning before we left we had a tour of Izzy's dad's greenhouse. He is French and has acquired a strange accent over his years in NZ. He grows a kind of lily, can't remember what it is called but here is the one he cut for me:

He also grows the most amazing orchids in there for fun, and those dangly air plants. Outside he has hemp, banana, raspberry and macademia. He gave me a big bag of macademias which should be ready in time for Christmas, as long as we can get them out of their shells. Apparently a hammer and a flat rock will do the trick. Sounds like a man's task.

On the way home (a good 5 1/2 hours drive) we stopped at Taupo to take a look at Huka (said Hooker) falls. This is one of the Islands biggest hydroelectricity farms as the water from the lake is channelled through a very narrow and shallow gorge at high speed. You can also white water raft down it, which looks like a whole bunch of fun!

So that was my weekend! It was great fun and the countryside is stunningly beautiful. With any luck we will go back up there and look around some more soon!

Huka Falls, looking upstream

A Tui, the other national bird, the one the beer is named for. Has a puff of white feathers at his throat like a dandy! Drinks the nectar from this tree, gets drunk and falls off, which is probably where New Zealanders got the idea from.

Huka Falls, the fall part. The water is so blue because it is very clear and the bubbles reflect the colour of the sky. Aah.

No time for Blogging, I have done a days work!

I feel I must let you all know that I have completed a full days work, for the the first time since arriving in New Zealand! I believe that it would nearly be called a full days work in Englandistan as well? In work for 0745, and home at 1715......wow.......

I am almost too tired to type......

So since the last entry, what has been going on? Probably the highlight was the boys night out in Wellington, which involved the Australia vs All Blacks game a huge amount of drinking, and a nightclub called Boogie Wonderland....did I mention the 6"10 transvestite??

I feel that the less said about the transvestite, the better. To cut a long story short i was drunk, he/she was massive, and Liz was in a different post code....

The game was good though, I proudly wore my england shirt, and took a bit of abuse. Neither side seemed to be able to accept the argument that you are only as good as your last World Cup, or in their case, as good as your last two World Cups....I barely escaped with my life (that applies to both the rugby and the tranny).

I shall leave it there, with some photos of the match....

The Westpac Stadium in Wellington

Another England Fan!!

(and a right stunner sat behind me.......the Tranny was better looking!)

Snowboarding and other such stuff

Where to begin? It has been a busy few days, we've had two new cars, been snowboarding, bought a new mountain bike, discovered the funniest sounding food on the planet and picked a name for a dog that we haven't even bought yet (and probably not going to buy).

So, i think i shall start with the non-dog. It kind of coincides with the snowboarding trip. We decided to go with some friends up to Mount Ruapehu and to get good parking we had to leave at 6am. On route we stopped off for some petrol (the kiwis complain with the price being 66p/litre...they don't know they are born....) and being in dire need of coffee i wandered in for a quick 'flat white', not fancying a cheese and meat pie for breakfast, i looked at the chocolate selection. A bar a Cadburys starred back at me, and i had to do a double take to ensure i had read the name correctly. Yes i had. The name of this fine bar of chocolate was Scroggin. Maybe because it was so early i found this very funny, and the rest of the journey assed with various conversation centered around the word Scroggin. Jocelyn is now referred to as "..the wee Scroggin", and this is the name that we have decided to give to our next dog. What a combo they would have been...Muppet and Scroggin. Just to prove this to be fact -

http://www.cadbury.co.nz/Products/Blocks-of-Chocolate/Energy-Scroggin.aspx

So onto the snowboarding itself. Mount Ruapehu is a small resort, built on the side of a volcano. We are coming to the end of the season over here, and the snow was not great. It was however good enough! There is a huge amount of off-piste (or 'track' as the call it) and that is where the enjoyment really lies. The photos of steep drops, and wide open mountain that i had seen previously were done justice to what we experienced. It was brilliant. The wee Scroggin had her first snow experience, and loved it. Liz and i took it in turns to go and board, whilst Jocelyn crawled in the snow and did some elementary sledging. I am afraid to report, however, that the European influence of poor taste all-in-one ski suits has manifested itself over here...it is not a good look. The 2 1/2 hour drive to the mountain was thoroughly worth it, and we will be investing in a season pass for next year, no doubt at all!

At the bottom of the Mountain

The off-piste was simply brilliant

The "Wee Scroggin" enjoying the snow!

Now onto the car saga....after careful consideration, and pre-purchase tests, we purchased a Toyota Harrier from a dealer. 2 days later, on flashes the engine warning lights and traction control switches off....hmmmm....not too good i thought. Off we trot to the Toyota garage and ask their opinion...the mechanic looked slightly surprised when i told him the problem, when i asked why the surprise he told me that a car dealer had brought in a Toyota Harrier the morning that we bought the car with exactly the same problem....yes you guessed it, it was the same car. $300 to fix.....understandably, i was less than amused so went and had a very closed door chat with old Luke at 'Adopt-a-Car'. Liz was told to wait outside. We now have a second 'new' car whilst our other one is being fixed and warranties written. I was very close to doing some proper English style "Tramping"...

So finally onto the new bike. Liz's bike made it through customs in one piece, and we have quickly realised that a good way to see a lot of the country is by bike. So I bought a bike and a seat for Scroggin Jnr. The seat was brilliant fun. The shop sold it to us and offered to fix it to the bike for a nominal fee of $25. Being all manly, i said to the man "...how hard can it be?" he looked at me and said "...you will find out...and if you want to bring it back, then feel free." Well this was like a red rag to a bull. My manly-ness was on the line, failure was not an option. The instructions were in Chinese, and soon got binned. All it took was 3 hours, a huge amount of bad language, 16 different screw drivers, a chisel, several bastardised nuts and bolts and a power drill. It looked just like the picture on the box. I was so glad when we managesd a 20km cycle without it falling apart! McScroggin enjoyed it as well!

A well engineered bike seat indeed!

And that, folks, is all for now!

Oh look, I have a minute to myself!

Good morning everyone. I have decided to write in pink so that you'll know it's me, and not my other half who is currently at work. What? Working? Surely not! Probably not, but the battery is back from exercise so he might be doing a lot of meeting people and drinking coffee.

Life is slowly settling down to a less frenetic pace. We've unpacked most of our things, although I have nowhere to put my clothes so they're still in their boxes. We are also a little short on coathangers, but there you go. I was feeding Jocelyn her breakfast this morning when I looked out of the window so see a dead bird on the grass pathway that runs along the side of the house. The poor thing had been got by a cat (boo, hiss) so it's in a pretty terrible state. Anyway, I mention it because I'm looking out our front patio (decking really) window and seeing an inch thick trail of ants marching around the corner to the bird. These same ants were all over the bathroom last night as I tried to bath Jocelyn and I had to spend 30 minutes vacuuming them up - no exaggeration, I promise. At least they've given up on the kitchen, although I am still finding mouse poo on the floor despite there being poison down - it's the good stuff too, for warfarin resistant vermin. Oh yes. We're very close to nature over here. All the houses are built about a foot off the ground so all the nasties move in underneath where you can't get at them, and the ants have made it their task to excavate pathways into various rooms in the house. I find them in different rooms every day, they're terribly organised. Needless to say, most of them don't make it back to the mothership.

On a good note, we've found a lovely car. Subject to it passing its roadworthiness test we will be proud owners of a Toyota Harrier 4WD gas guzzler this afternoon or on Monday. It's big and silver and more like a Lexus than a Toyota and there's no way we could afford to run one in any country in Europe. It's great!

Ah, the errant husband has returned from his arduous hour and a half in the office. He bought a bike the day before yesterday and went to ride it this morning to work and the chain snapped. Not the best start to a new purchase, so he took mine which is thankfully in good working order despite being broken down into many pieces for the shipping company. Soon we will have a carrier on the back for the wee one - she already has a helmet which she loves to wear! She is like her cousin - she has a hat problem. Hat-o-philia, I like to call it. Anyway, we are all looking forward to exploring the countryside on 2 wheels, especially now the weather has taken a turn for the better. We are also looking forward to going snowboarding on Sunday, yippee! Half a day each because of the baby of course, but hey, it's better than nothing. Woohoo!

Ok, time to go and have some coffee before a large voice from a small girl interrupts my me-time. Lots of love X

Just one more thing...!

For those of you that were worried, I want to make it quite clear; I have not been beating up any homeless old men that smell of wee.

Another month, another Blog

My first Blog of September. Having just sent out an e-mail to the masses, i thought that i had better add something recent, in case i get any more followers. I might even start to measure my popularity by this....Going back to my geekyness, i have just had confirmation of my first success on the 'texting' using Skype. I feel that i might have finally joined the 21st century now, both in terms of having the gadgets, but also that i know how to use them.

So what has been going on? You should all know about our trip to 'Welly' from 'Palmy' (the language barrier is very easy to overcome). A beautiful city, or to be more accurate, a medium sized town. But i like that; i have never really liked large cities where the foreign students practically force you under the nearest black cab. I tried to take one of those long exposure type photos of cars going down a street at night. It took over half an hour for enough cars to be

passing to make it any good (even then it was a bit crap!). I found it quite strange to see a capital city so quiet.

We enjoyed a lot of fish, complemented by some good wines overlooking the harbour. The hotel we were staying in has a baby-sitting service so Liz and I were able to go and let our hair down for an evening. A really good idea, and maybe there is a niche in the market in the U.K?

We have continued to explore our immediate surrounds in Palmy, and recently went to explore the Te Apiti wind farm which runs along the ridge behind Palmy. That is where this Blogs selection of photos comes from. We chose a good day to go, as i could hardly open the car door due to the strength of the winds up on the ridge. I found them very therapeutic to watch maybe ...i have been in this country too long already!?

Other exciting news....we have finally got round to getting a dishwasher! Hurrah! The old one was becoming very unreliable, and had the cheek to ask me to help....(i am so brave when she has gone to bed!) I therefore did the only thing that made sense. It was purchased via TradeMe, which is the Kiwi version of eBay. It has served us well already, always after a bargain, me! Lets hope it lasts!

One of the many turbines.....GEEK!

The Hobbits were really pissed off with the new fangled wind things...

It was a bad hair day at the wind farm...

A little less windy at the bottom (careful!)

The First Few Days

I appear to find myself with a bit of time to 'Blogg'. I am now on day 2 of work, and that is work in the loosest sense of the word. The Battery that i am supposed to be working with have deployed on exercise for 2 weeks, without me. I therefore have the job of chief seat warmer in the coffee, or 'smoko' room. Either that or i sit and talk about people we know with the Regimental 2ic who is an ex-Brit. Either way i am home at lunchtimes! The other good thing is that when they talk about going away for a long exercise, I think of 4 weeks minimum and being thrashed for that entire period. They mean no more than 10 days in the 'bush' at a sedate pace. Brilliant.

We had a lovely weekend, in a mix of power tools and walks. I needed a manly boost so went and bought some tools, to fix baby gates with etc...I ended up drilling holes in things that didn't need holes, and wanted to find a use for my brand new 450 piece drill bit collection, for the girls reading this you probably wont understand.

We ventured out into the hills, and found the most amazing scenery. We very quickly ran out of superlatives for the views. Breathtakingly beautiful countryside. I also found it very amusing that they refer to hiking as 'Tramping'. This conjured up images of beating up old men that smelt of stale wee. We beat up no men on our first Tramp. Jocelyn is the proud owner of a backpack, she can now sit on Dads back whilst he kicks the crap out of the homeless, or goes for a nice walk. She also gets to pull hair, ears and constantly kick my kidneys for hours on end. Excellent. We strolled through an area of the Manawatu Gorge, which is simply outstanding. I will not talk about it too much more as words will not do it justice. All of the pictures are from there.

The wind farms on the Hill seem to be very effective around these parts!

Me and Baby J on the Manawatu Gorge Loop Trail

Liz and a really big tree (or tiny Liz next to a tree?)

Baby J and her new backpack!

iPhone me up Baby!

We have now rejoined the 21st century. We have broadband at home, a land line, bank accounts and mobile phones...wow all this in just 2 days! But as i am quite sure all of you must know, it isn't just any old phone, but the all singing, all dancing iPhone...superb!

We are settled in quite nicely, although he jet lag has yet to wear off. 5 am seems to be my favoured time of waking. Baby J joined me at 5 this morning, so at least i wasn't alone - she is a very kind and thoughtful person.

I had my first Mess 'do' last night, and am pleased to report that not much changes on the other side of the world in terms of Mess life. The young 'uns get pissed far too quickly whilst the grumpy lot (of which group i now officially belong to...) get pissed more slowly whilst putting the world to rights.

Now on the subject of piss....you might think this is me being crude. You are half correct. The kiwis refer to alcohol as 'piss'. So it is quite common to go out and consume a pint of someone else's piss, and no one would bat an eyelid....bizarre.

We have had a few firsts as well. One of the Brit guys who transferred over here 4 years ago warned us of these things, yet i did not think that i would see them so quickly. A gentleman going shopping bare footed, a gentleman going shopping in shorts and gum boots (thats wellies to you and me (and it was the same shop - maybe i need to shop elsewhere?)) and another gent wandering around the shopping centre in his slippers. All of this is absolute quality. The one thing we have yet to see is your man shopping in his pajamas; apparently quite common around here. As soon as that one is sighted i will attempt a photo on new iPhone and share it with you all.

It is exceptionally windy here at the moment, we were told that it is a very windy place but seriously this is windy. Some gardeners turned up today and completely re-mulched our flower beds and leveled them out, and mowed the lawns. All free, could get used to this.

We are off out to supper tonight with Bart Simpson (not his real name, i hasten to add. It is in fact Ian). No doubt i will be ready to come home by 8pm. Tomorrow is to be spent investigating car dealerships for our new motor, as i suspect the colonel might want his car back before too long! I will let you know what we come up with.

What a difference a day makes!

We are now all firmly ensconced in 'Palmy' and i think the shell shock is beginning to wear off. After a mammoth 14 hours of gonk, Baby J is feeling a little more human as are we.

It is 0547 (Tuesday 25th August 09) and we have been up since 0500, but that is o.k. as luckily we are in a hotel, and Baby J had a travel cot and plenty of stuff to eat.

The NZDF have been very helpful thus far, met at the airport and ferried to the hotel. They offered us a night out on the town, however we declined and went to bed...how sad?

Today is a day of orientation. I think i meet the colonel at some point, but that is small fish...Stu (our friendly Kiwi) is taking us iPhone shopping....winner! We shall also go to the new house to hook up with electricity, gas and phone (hopefully interweb too!)

Breakfast starts in 30 mins, and i shall be demolishing the place. No food since my Dim Sum yesterday...rubbish!

More soon!

Hi All,

I thought we couldn't have a one sided blog, otherwise when my DH (for those who don't know, that stands for Dear Husband, not what Jonathan thinks it stands for!) goes away on ex, you won't hear anything for a whole month. So far the whole experience has been not too unpleasant although for some reason I always got to sleep next to the baby....mmm.... We're very excited to be here at last, and I for one am a little nervous following my epiphany on the plane (I forget which plane) in which I realised the enormity of the situation. We're going to live here for 2 years and it's a bit late to change my mind. Wow!

The view from the plane window was wonderful, huge snow capped mountains in the far distance, mossy green covered hills in the middle distance, and a man in a grey cloak smoking a pipe and chatting away to a small guy with hairy feet just at the base of the hills. The wide green plains seem far too big to host the modest number of (2 legged) inhabitants and a dusting of sheep seemed to cover every other available surface. It's like England, only better.

I will let you know what I think of 'Palmy' a little later, possibly from my new iPhone. So far, I think it looks a little like an American small town with wide streets and low, wood-covered buildings. Except that they drive on the proper side of the road over here, of course!

This is being typed at 696mph, and altitude of 36998ft and at an outside temperature of -54c. That I believe has to make me one of the most extreme first time ‘bloggers’ – I wonder if there is a prize? I have just enjoyed what I shall call a varied breakfast. A glass of tomato juice, a cup of English breakfast tea, 2 rather nice croissant – followed by a plate of Dim Sum and chili sauce. A new experience for me, but one that I have just been informed is standard practice in the Far East. Liz has now been instructed that this is now to be the norm for my breakfast. This was a vast improvement to ‘supper’ at Heathrow. On going through security, I was informed that I would have to taste 50% of all of Baby J’s food…I now know the sense of dread and foreboding that those poison tasters must have had before sampling their Master’s food. Baby food is revolting, fact.

We sit 735 miles of the starboard bow of Auckland. We have flown the width of Australia, crossing the west coast between Melbourne and Sydney. It all looks very small on my map. The trip has been good so far. I will forever be indebted to the British tax payer for shelling out for business class. At one point we thought we had lost Jocelyn in a scene reminiscent from that airplane film with Jodie Foster (the Lecter girl?), but no she had just crawled into one of the countless storage compartments. The cabin crew are fastidiously attentive, hardly 5 minutes goes by without a “…Mr Scott, would you like another….(gin and tonic being the most common ending to that)…” Jocelyn has been cooed over for nearly 2 days solid, and has been a little star. A few tears before bedtime, and during bedtime, but aside from that a little star; I believe you can forgive a few tears.

I am going to try out a setting on my new camera, it is called ‘taking a picture out of a plane window setting’. I think I could have come up with a name that trips off the tongue a little easier. Stand by… I can now report that modern technology has caught up with health and safety. On turning to ‘taking a picture out of a plane window setting’ a message flashed up on the camera screen telling me “turn the camera off during takeoff and landings, and follow the instructions of the cabin crew at all times”. Marvelous. I wonder if it will tell me to “Brace, brace , brace” if we are about to crash? The picture is rather good though. In the time it took me to chuckle a bit at the daft message, take picture and turn around, my empty cup of tea has been whisked away and replaced. Once again, marvelous.

Well, I shall leave this first ‘blog’ here for now, although I feel it will be some time before it is published. I shall keep myself in suspense!