This is being typed at 696mph, and altitude of 36998ft and at an outside temperature of -54c. That I believe has to make me one of the most extreme first time ‘bloggers’ – I wonder if there is a prize? I have just enjoyed what I shall call a varied breakfast. A glass of tomato juice, a cup of English breakfast tea, 2 rather nice croissant – followed by a plate of Dim Sum and chili sauce. A new experience for me, but one that I have just been informed is standard practice in the Far East. Liz has now been instructed that this is now to be the norm for my breakfast. This was a vast improvement to ‘supper’ at Heathrow. On going through security, I was informed that I would have to taste 50% of all of Baby J’s food…I now know the sense of dread and foreboding that those poison tasters must have had before sampling their Master’s food. Baby food is revolting, fact.

We sit 735 miles of the starboard bow of Auckland. We have flown the width of Australia, crossing the west coast between Melbourne and Sydney. It all looks very small on my map. The trip has been good so far. I will forever be indebted to the British tax payer for shelling out for business class. At one point we thought we had lost Jocelyn in a scene reminiscent from that airplane film with Jodie Foster (the Lecter girl?), but no she had just crawled into one of the countless storage compartments. The cabin crew are fastidiously attentive, hardly 5 minutes goes by without a “…Mr Scott, would you like another….(gin and tonic being the most common ending to that)…” Jocelyn has been cooed over for nearly 2 days solid, and has been a little star. A few tears before bedtime, and during bedtime, but aside from that a little star; I believe you can forgive a few tears.

I am going to try out a setting on my new camera, it is called ‘taking a picture out of a plane window setting’. I think I could have come up with a name that trips off the tongue a little easier. Stand by… I can now report that modern technology has caught up with health and safety. On turning to ‘taking a picture out of a plane window setting’ a message flashed up on the camera screen telling me “turn the camera off during takeoff and landings, and follow the instructions of the cabin crew at all times”. Marvelous. I wonder if it will tell me to “Brace, brace , brace” if we are about to crash? The picture is rather good though. In the time it took me to chuckle a bit at the daft message, take picture and turn around, my empty cup of tea has been whisked away and replaced. Once again, marvelous.

Well, I shall leave this first ‘blog’ here for now, although I feel it will be some time before it is published. I shall keep myself in suspense!