Merry Christmas Day!

Very simply, a very very Happy Christmas to you all!  The sun shone for us, and the BBQ was great.  To those in the northern hemisphere, I hope that the snow didn't trouble you to much!?

Wishing you all a good day, as I now toddle off to bed, and that Santa was as good to you as he was to us.  For those of you we tried to phone, but didn't speak to we will try again tomorrow, and for those that phoned us, but we didn't answer; sorry!

Merry Christmas Eve!

A very Happy Christmas Eve to everyone.

With the new technomological advances on this gizmo, I now believe that certain 'select' people get e-mailed the updates of this most excellent Blog (did you know that it has been nominated for a Pulitzer prize?).  For those 'select' amongst you, take it as an extra Christmas present; a stocking filler, if you like.

So what have we been up to?  Ah yes, the 'Grand Tour'.  We have now completed the North Island leg (see earlier posts), where we picked 3 extra passengers.  Kyle, Kieran and Kaitlin the Kingfish; unfortunately there was something odd about them (a bit fishy you might say) so we ate them.

The author & Kaitlin

For the non-fisherpeople amongst you, the Kingfish is a much prized fish, and one that is difficult to catch, hence the reason that I have a rather large grin slapped on my face, and one that got even larger after I hauled the third one aboard!

As you might imagine, they provide rather a lot of eating; it was eaten steaked, filleted, fried, sushied, curried and in many other ways with much given away!

Excellent, 1 more fishing conquest taken care of.


So, that was the Bay of Islands taken care of.  From there, it was a quick hop down to the Coromandel Peninsula, where we were booked into the exclusive bay-side retreat of Ruffins Bay, unfortunately the blurb supplied with the place didn't say that the exclusivity was actually directed at the mould, mosquitoes, cockroaches and any other horrendous thing you might imagine.  It truly was a shame, as the place it was set in was one of the most beautiful we have come across in New Zealand; why the owners kept such a shabby place (advertised as something quite different) in such a beautiful one I will never know.

Any how, they have found themselves moving swiftly up my hit list.  We only stayed the one night, and then moved out; payment witheld.

The most amazing butterfly farm, and a gold mine featured on our south bound trip to Rotorua.  Where we learnt that Cornish men were sent underground to mine the butterflies and turn them into pasties (I might not have been paying attention).  Jocelyn especially enjoyed chasing the butterflies around, but, when the tables were turned she was not so keen!

From there it was to the sulphourous joys of Rotorua where Jocelyn delighted in having a 'tub'.  The rest of us delighted in having wine in a 'tub'.  Most excellent.  Naturally mud features in Rotorua, and Jocelyn perfected the noise that mud now makes, yup, is goes "blooooop"; and when you watch the short clip below she is actually quite accurate!

Whilst sampling the delights of Roto-Vegas, we stayed in a delightful lakeside residence at Lake Tarawera, where the weather was so poor that the trout in the lake were safe from my attempts to lure them in for dinner.  No matter, as even in the rain the place was beautiful.

The final stop on part one of the 'Grand Tour' was in Napier, where again we stayed in a lovely Bach, that was quite literally a stones throw from the sea.  Nestled in the wine making region of the Hawkes Bay we had a most enjoyable time, so enjoyable I actually forget what we did there; but it tasted good.  The one thing i do remember was our trip to the Gannet colony at Cape Kidnappers, where a strong wind on the cliff tops blew away any cobwebs that might have formed from the previous evening; in fact it nearly blew you away entirely!

These quick snaps are ones that I am particularly proud of, suffice to say, there are many, many more.  So, Sir David Attenborough, I know you are a keen follower of my Blog; got a job for me?

So, there we go.  A few more wineries were taken in on our wind back to Palmy, and a most delightful lunch at Craggy Range (Richard & Christine; look forward to that one!) set all but the sober driver up for a good snooze home.

Christmas tomorrow, I hope you all have your shopping done!  Enjoy, and I guess we shall speak to as many of you as possible at some point soon  (Sir David, you can call me)!  Have a lovely day all.

The Skytower ain't for wimps!

A day out in Aukland today, and what a good day. After the obligatory morning coffee fix we headed for the Skytower in central Aukland. Liz took one look and decided that it was not for her; which left me and the wee Scroggin who instantly was pulling my shirt tails telling me 'Daddy, I want to go to the top', fearless, my kinda girl! So of we went in the glass floor elevator, which Jocelyn felt the need to jump up and down on; made me feel a little nervous. We then got to the top, and watched some idiot throw themselves over the side (worry not, they had a rope attached to their legs). I don't think Jocelyn quite understood that one, nor indeed did I. We then proceeded to chase each other round the observation deck, with Jocelyn stopping to jump on all of the glass floor panels...weird girl.



She thoroughly enjoyed the trip, and then it was back down the bottom to pick up 'wimpy mummy' (I have no idea where she learnt that phrase) and off to the quay side for 1/2 dozen oysters and fish and chips; top lunch!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Selwyn Rd,Cockle Bay,New Zealand

A Short History of Wrinkly Tin

So, stage 2 of the journey and the first real taste of 'Kiwiana' and it came in the form of Wrinkly Tin (corrugated iron to you and me....). The kiwis have an amazing ability to create icons in their towns. Ones that we have seen so far include the Taihape Gumboot, and the Oakune Carrot. One thing they all seem to have in common, yep you guessed it, all made of wrinkly tin! Yet on the way to Auckland, the town of Tirau provided 2 more that must be added to the list; a giant sheep and a giant dog; magnificent examples of the diverse uses of wrinkly tin.


Bizarre huh?

Any way, moving on. We arrive at our most superb house in Howick, a suberb of Aukland, and it is like a little slice of England plonked in NZ.

Walking into the house and what do I spy on the coffee table? Again, you guessed it; a book on Wrinkly Tin; with a forward by Sir John Ingram, no less...! Amazing the fascination, but worry not it isn't catching!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Sturdee St,Auckland Central,New Zealand

The Yellow Boat of Taupo

So, here we are. Day 1 of the epic road trip. As usual we departed Palmy on Scott time, and after a 'quick' coffee and lunch stop with some indigenous folk at Mangaweka (Hot Coffee, Cool Plane - google it!) we made it to the leave centre mid afternoon. Clearly they knew someone important was arriving, as they got an ex Prime Minister to clean the gaff before we arrived. Rumour has it that he is in hiding in the colonies due to the crap job he did before hand; and that this is his way of making things up to the armed forces.






Any way, Jocelyn was most pleased to fond out that the leave centre came equipped with play park, so with some good swinging action (ooh err) and slides etc... she was happy. We then had a short walk to the lake where Jocelyn proved she was braver than her mum, by stripping off and going for a paddle. She then spied a yellow boat about 100m off shore and decided she wanted to pay a visit. How upset was she when I reminded her she couldn't swim? Very.






Auckland tomorrow, awesome. It has been a good start to the trip. More to follow!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Kiwi St,Taupo,New Zealand

Our Summer North Island Trip

Well, here it is...I am on leave and the car is packed (mostly with my fishing gear) and we set off tomorrow on the North Island adventure.

The weather is looking good, and the fishies are starting to bite.  I also think I have got someone to pick up at Auckland airport on Friday.....mmmmm.......yes, thats right, my folks arrive.  It had better not be on an incoming tide, or they might have to wait a while.

But anywho....our trip is as you see below, and it starts with a night in Taupo before we head to Auckland to meet the folks.  Then to the wilderness of the north, before returning south and eventually ending up, back in balmy Palmy for Christmas.

Watch this space for updates and the obligatory photos!


View Larger Map

Quality father/daughter time!

Who says crickets a boring game??



- Posted from my iPhone

A small rant.....

Dear World,

Why 'oh why are there people placed on your fine surface who, it would appear, are solely intent on buggering things up.  I refer namely to that global corporation of 'Toys R Us'.  Perhaps a name change is in order I suggest 'Shitheads R Us' or 'Fine & Helpful People R not Us'.  Either of these would be more than apt.

They let me know, and very kind of them it was, that their website was 'on the piss' (to coin a favourite Kiwi phrase of mine).  To my mind his leads to them being 1-0 up in the 'It's my fault' stakes.

I very politely let them know that these things happen, and subsequently re-order.  I ask them to deliver on the Saturday, at vast expense as I have now missed Rory's birthday.  They e-mail me saying '...thank you for my order, it will be delivered within 10 working days..."  (on the plus side, the have not charged me the vast expense).  I lose my sense of humour.  E-mail number 2 gets sent; I explain (again with no sarcasm or rude words) that their website has yet again 'gone on the piss', and please could they amend the order to be delivered on Saturday, and I took the opportunity to invite them to absorb the 'vast expense' as a small token of their "...sincere apologies..." that they previously extended.

I believe them to now be 2-0 up.

They e-mail me back.  Again I lose sense of humour.

"Dear Mr Scott..." they write, "...I apologise, but we have placed your request into the 'Too Hard Box', we couldn't possibly amend your order, because that would mean that I need to pick up the telephone and speak to Gary at the warehouse.  He would then have to cut short his tea break to find your parcel, and swap it from one postal queue to another, and like me Gary is a stellar Toys R Us employee, who takes the art of 'Can't be Arsed' to a whole new level..."


3-0 them.


I am now sitting here, quietly seething; wondering what my response shall be.....?


I am open to suggestions from the floor.


I urge all of you that read this to advise all of you friends and family to avoid Toys R Us like the plague.


Thank you world for listening, unlike those ****-knuckles at Toys R Us.


Yours sincerely,


Annoyed from Palmerston North.


P.S. If the editor of any newspaper reads this, please print.

From NZ to Aus and back again.

Another significant time of no update, yet as ever and awful lot has been going on.  Mainly, if not entirely (for me anyway) my epic trip to Australia.  Most would think that a over a month in the outback would be a truly amazing experience; however when you throw the military into the mix, the experience often changes....

I will most definitely remember the trip, and the quaint way in that everything in the country tries its very best to kill you with spider and snakes being at the top of the list, and then with a trip to the Manchips after the exercise, water in your ears has a pretty good go as well!

I would like to frist introduce you to one of the beasties that I might.  For those of you with a slightly nervous disposition, look away now:

Austracantha minax

This "'lil bewdy" whilst not too large scared the 'bejesus out of me, as you might well expect.  A particularly gnarly looking critter, with all the charm and elegance of a chemical toilet.  But with a name such as a the Australian Jewel Spider, or the Christmas Spider how could it be too bad.  Just to be on the safe side, it was dispatched with tremendous efficiency.

There were plenty of other eight legged beaties that crept up on me, including the Huntsman spider (sp. Sparassidae) which I only knew was there, because I heard the thing coming......again, for those of you with a strong constition, look here, for those of you that do not, look here instead.

And then there are the non-legged varieties....then best one being the one that I nearly stepped on in the wee dark hours of the morning.  He was a particularly nasty fellow, with forked tongue and all.  He was a King Brown (Pseudechis australis), which slithers into the top 10 most poisonous snakes in the world. In fact it is at number 2 (according to that dude who stepped on a Stingray).  So a good thing that I chose to ignore the light discipline rules and use my torch....I think we can stand another photo, so here it is in all its slithery glory:

Mr Brown Snake

But I must admit that not all of Australia was bad.  There were some glorious swimming holes that had to be taken advantage of, with the best of all being Star Creek.  After 26 days without a shower, the sheer wonderfulness of diving into a river is not to be underestimated!  And post exercise, Big Crystal Creek rock slides, and Little Crystal Creek swimming holes were also superb.

Little Crystal Creek

With such an oppressively hot & humid climate, little wonders like these creeks are most definitely the way ahead.  What made these ones in particular so good, was that they were free from crocodiles.  I was not fancied to come off as a victor in the battle with a croc.  

Still I managed to survive the exercise, survive the beasties, and enjoy some post exercise R&R where as mentioned I managed to catch up with the Microchips, who I served in Germany with and Jim now serves with the ADF.  I also had my 7th consecutive birthday with the Armed Forces, and now find myself on the wrong side of 30, but as ever the army has its own special way of giving you a happy birthday!

By popular demand!

Here is the wife's new barnet.  A small experimentation from myself in the photoshop department, but I assure you, the 'do' remains untouched!

Funky snip!

Please feel free to leave nice comments....something along the lines of "...she looks a million dollars..." would cheer me up; that would be far from the truth come to think of it.......grrrrrr!

Time passes....

Well, here we go with another month passed since my last ramblings.  And I must admit, what a month it has been.  We have had skiing, beer festival, sick children and more fishing (or casting as it is now known).

And in all these events, there has ben much hilarity (maybe with the exception of a sick child).  Firstly I would like to share with you a picture that proves that not only is Jesus alive, but that he likes beer.  So forget those sightings of Brad Pitt in Wellington; I have gone one better and saw his Ultimate Holiness.

No gnatty tricks such as turning water into ale were preformed.

This snap was taken at the awesome event, Beervana, in Wellington.  A load of boutique  brewers get together and offer their wares.  The unfortunate point is that thy issue you with a small glass to do the tasting with, and as we all know you seem to drink more when you have a small glass....that is my excuse, and I am sticking with it.  As you no doubt know from my previous ramblings, I am not a huge fan of the Kiwi beers.  There were some however that certainly were very good indeed, especially the Number 3 IPA from Townshend Brewers.  And then at the other end of the scale you had Mike's Organic brewery and Gisborne Gold; their offering tasted like burnt crap.  There was even an importer of some of the German pilsners, but unfortunately some of the taste had been lost in the 10,000 miles of transportation.
It was an epic night, and one that I shall remember for a long while; and not just for the candle-lit dinner for two in a chinese restaurant.

Surf casting at Tangimoana

As I said earlier, there have been some more fishing adventures, or more appropriately, casting adventures. So named for the complete and utter lack of catching.  I have been giving surf casting a go; mainly because I do not own a boat, and also for the impending trip over summer there will be some awesome places to go.   I am the proud owner of a 12' rod, and much fine, fine tackle....the only drama, is that I have not a clue what to do with it.  I guess that it just gets flung into the ocean and hope for the best; these damn fish just don't seem to have the courtesy of impaling themselves on my hooks.  Still, we shall see what the future holds.  Rumour has it that as the weather improves so will my luck; I am not so sure.  There are some more trips planned for the not so distant future, and with a bit of luck we'll manage to get out onto a boat.  The family is going a bit hungry at the moment without me providing food for the table.  I am possibly coming around to the thought that it might be easier just to go to the fishmongers....?

A day on the board

Next on the agenda has been the skiing/snowboarding up at Turoa.  There have been some great days up there, and I am now in credit on the season pass, which is always good!  Liz got her skis for her 30th, and not be feel left out, I bought a pair as well.  This is where I have to admit that there is something, aside from ironing, that my wife is better than me at.  Not for long though.  Jocelyn has much fun in the daycare centre at the top of the mountain, where she gets to wear her 'ski-gumboots' and mum & dad do their thing; it is great!  So weather permitting, we will be up there next weekend.

We need to make the most of it as I am due off to Australia at the end of September for a month.  Then not long till the epic tour of New Zealand begins, again!

Getting on in life...

So, it has finally happened; I am officially getting old.  This is in no part my fault.  It is of course my wife's fault.  She had the indecency to turn 30 last week.  Also, I suppose I could apportion some blame to my daughter, who turns 2 next week.  As ever, the world moves on at pace and I feel myself content to sit by watch it all happen.  Forever young is what I say.

Jocelyn at the the park

The weather has been pretty good of late, and we have made some excursions to the park, so Jocelyn can meet the new birds at the aviary (if only she was a boy.....!).  We nearly made it to the model railway, but the fact that I had to have a coffee made sure there was no change left....how selfish of me, yet who am I to stand in the way of a strong caffeine addiction?

Captured and forced to wear All Blacks shirts...

We also made it down to Wellington to watch the second test of the All Blacks vs the Springboks.  A superb game, and indeed superb evening was had.  We have also identified the worst curry house in the entire world.  It proved my theory of "...its run by Indians, so it can't be too bad..." to be a complete pile of horse-shite.  Never before have I had floppy poppadoms, or have I tasted butter chicken so bad.  In fact the butter chicken was a tin of Heinz (or Watties, depending on the hemisphere you are in) cream of tomato soup with a few bits of chicken in; this restaurant (term used so very loosely) would win awards for crapness.  Of course being totally British, and sober, I did not let them know this at all........

Surf Casting legend...?

With trout fishing under the belt, I thought that I would give surf casting a go.  It is definately one of the funnier things that I have done in my life...  Armed with a 13.5 ft surf casting rod, a lead weight that could easily pass for an anti ship mine, 2 suicide hooks and some chopped up squid; off I went to Himatangi beach:


View Untitled in a larger map

I quickly realised that this was going to have to be a manly effort.  Middle of winter, off came the shoes and socks, trousers rolled up, and into the surf I waded.

The author, hard at work.

I also quickly realised that wielding this 13.5 ft monster was going to be tricky, especially if i wanted to avoid catching my own head.  My colleague who lent me the rod informed me that a cast of 100m was entirely possible....I was left questioning this when on the first attempt I nearly broke my foot with the anti ship mine...however this was no problem as in mid winter the water was a bit chilly, so I could not feel my feet anyway...

Perseverance was the key, and I was soon achieving casts of well in excess of 20m.  Well done me.   I believe that the fish were more in danger of being knocked out by the high arcing piece of lead, than them accidentally swallowing my hooks.

Still, I had a huge amount of fun and will definitely go back...maybe in summer though?!

Some paisley stripes to enhance...?

Ex Brimstone

Well, they say that a change is as good as a rest?  As usual I have fallen a bit behind in the blogging department.  I would like to say that is because I have been busy....well actually that is true, I have been busy.

What have we done?  Well, the was the Santoft Sizzler; a 5 hour mountain bike race through the forest near Bulls.  It was the first race that Liz has done, and she became a honorary member of team 'Lazy Crankers'.  The weather was awful, which I maintain contributed to my 5 'rapid dismounts', luckily the ground was soft.  As I have always said, "...if you don't fall off, then you aren't trying hard enough...".  Next race is scheduled for 11 September up in Taupo.

We also have the All Blacks vs Ireland test in New Plymouth.  This was possibly the wettest weekend in the history of weekends.  The rain was almost monsoon like in its torrential'ness.  Luckily we had our farmers jackets and Jocelyn had her gum boots.  We also became honorary Kiwis for the weekend, as I couldn't possibly ever lower myself to support the Irish.  And luckily we backed the winning horse, as it was a comprehensive victory, to say the least.

Complete with 'gumboots'

 I had the delights of Waiouru in the winter, which is a cold a desolate place at the best of times.  Add snow, rain and wind to the mix and then it does become really quite unpleasant.  The only plus side of the whole exercise was that I was able to keep tabs on the mountain, and watch the snow build up for the boarding season to start.

So a glorious 10 days on exercise with the look forward to at the end being a weekend on the slopes playing in all that snow that  had so miserable in previously.

Being the honourable man that I am I decided it would be prudent to join a colleague of mine and head to the slope a day early just to make sure that everything was in order, and nobody had moved the mountain etc...luckily they hadn't.  I also accidentally managed to buy a shiny new pair of Oakley goggles and a new pair of gloves that came with 2 free rabbits....how strange.

Despite the weather, Waiouru can be a
truly beautiful place

So, off we set on the friday morning with clear blue skies ahead of us.  We made good time, checked into the house and made our way to the mountain road.  Only to be stopped by the ruddy Prime Minister of New Zealand, Mr John Key.  Apparently opening some poxy cycle path next to a giant carrot (maybe that explains the rabbits?), I mean, who does he think he is?  Closing off the road, and delaying my accent of the mountain.  At least the security dude was helpful "...excuse me good sir" I asked, "how does one get round this road block to ascend yonder mountain?".  "...follow that car, bro"  was the reply, with a vague point at a car in the far distance quite clearly travelling in the wrong direction.....marvellous.  Still, we made it; and what an awesome day out it was.  Not quite the whole of the mountain open, but certainly enough to have a damn good time.

The rest of the gang joined us in the evening, and after a few well deserved beers and pizza an early night ready for the following day.

Jocelyn on the slopes

This was Jocelyn's second time with snow, and she enjoyed (slightly grumpily!) it building snowmen and sledging about the place.  The photo (courtesy of our professional friend) is excellent, we think.

So, I am on leave now and hopefully the weather will improve slightly, and I'll be able to get up the slope later on this week.  Luckily I met Jesus (Son of God) whilst on our last weekend, and now complete with his phone number I have ask him to do some of the divine intervention stuff, so hopefully it will work?  Also I can confirm that Jesus was/is really a carpenter.

Messing around with paint.

With a bit of time on my hands, I thought that I would get all creative with some of the photos that we have taken. Here is the first result; it only took me an hour.......

The photo is of the Wellington cable car, taken from the Botanical gardens. I used Photoshop Elements 8 to get it the way it is looking now, and I think that it is quite a striking image. But there again, as it took me an hour to work out how to do it, i am bound to be impressed! No doubt there is a quicker way to do it, and hopefully i shall find this out as time goes on.

Seeing as I am on leave for the next 2 days, expect to see many more images appear from our travels around New Zealand, and from my experimentations with Photoshop.

If there does happen to be a guru out there with the programme (and knowing how many millions of people read this blog, there must be...?), then please feel free to share any of the tips with me.

Jocelyn's feeding time!

This moment of pure magic was captured a few days ago. There was no prompting from behind the camera either...

Jocelyn is coming on really quickly with her 'talking', she is most definitely making herself known.  Unfortunately there is a slight Kiwi twang to her words; "pen comes out as "pin" to name just one, and there is all sorts of other gibberish.  Some say she sounds like her mother!?

We have the Queens Birthday weekend to look forwards to this weekend, and we'll be spending the long weekend up in Tauranga with some friends of ours.  The weather is looking like it will be good, so hopefully i'll manage to get a spot of sea fishing in, while the Snapper are still biting.

Piggy Wiggy needs drawing now, so I'd best turn to my artistic talents (?) and see what I can do.

Fresh back from a weekend away

Well, it is a Sunday evening, and the hangover has just about abated.  Lunch followed by an evening out in Wellington  was the reason behind the exceptionally sore head this morning.

I have come to the conclusion that I a getting too old to mix drinks the way we did last night.  It is neither big, nor clever.  The main reason for this was a cocktail bar called Motel (their website being as random and funky as the bar itself).  I am convinced that this place is somewhere that you could only find drunk, and that in the hours of daylight the place doesn't even exist.  A secret knock on a metal door behind a skip bin allowed you access to this place, up a very steep flight of barren stairs and then your in this opulent & well stocked bar.  One of my fellow drinker was complaining of heartburn and indigestion (possibly caused by the 5 pints of cider and 3 of beer that had preceded our arrival), so the ever handy barman knocked up a concoction of what we can only believe to be distilled deer.  It worked.  But it was the foulest drink known to mankind.  Unfortunately we then had the second most filthy cocktail in the world....Champagne and Absinthe.....never try it, trust me.

So with all that drink, a good friendly chat with a Marxist, some dodgy whipping action, a happy slap following Burger King and waking up surrounded by thousands of tiny war planes and tanks; it was a top night out.

As promised....

If people want copies of this, then let me.  I am able to reproduce to full size for the fans that want to adorn their walls with it.

Me in my full lycra splendiffery!

A little on the sore side!

Well, the Moonride is over - what an awesome event! The atmosphere was amazing, and the course was superb.

Off for another lap!

There was a big range in experience of riders on the course, and I think that I fell into the middle third (at best!). This was my first competitive race, and I have already provisionally signed up for another one in Lake Taupo in September.

I had only one minor spill, which was on the first lap, but luckily this was nothing compared to some of the other crashes I saw.  So all in all I am glad that I managed to practice the quick dismount earlier on in the week!

So, I suppose on to the important stuff, and how much cash I raised for Help for Heroes....so far, the total stands at £238.72 so thank you all for the donations.  Hopefully there are a few more in the pipeline, so the total will go up some more.

Just Loved Team Erotica's shirts!!

I believe that I may have said in an earlier entry on this blog that I might go for the 24 hour race next year.....that is most certainly a subject that is up for debate!  At one point I did get stuck behind one of the 24 hour teams - a man and wife on a tandem!  I have broached the subject with Liz, but she did not seem too keen on the idea!  Well, I suppose that I have a year to work on it; and find a tandem!

On the subject of bikes, should anyone know an owner of a bike shop that wishes to donate a soft tail bike to my cause, then please put him in touch with me, as my arse is damn sore!

There were a raft of professional photographers around the course, so with a bi of luck i will be able to track some of them down and post them here.  I am sure that you are all really keen to see me looking a sweaty mess....?

The one great thing about the ride being in Roto-vegas was that there was no shortge of thermal spa baths to help with the aching muscles after!

So, we are no back to normal jogging, and I am back on exercise in Waiouru next week - oh the joy!

We're off!

Far more exciting than an election night, we have the Moonride! 1 hour till the off, Bon Jovi playing on the speakers!
More posts soon!

-
Not a crash, just some pre race prep!



- Posted from my iPhone

Waiouru - nice view but damn cold...

Waiouru in the autumn is a great place to be...... Honest! It is the kiwi version of Sennybridge or Cape Wrath. I'm glad to know that it isn't just the British Army that finds the worst bit of real estate, and then builds a training area on it.

Also sad to report that thus far there has been no hunting, fishing or golf played. Still, there is always time!



- Posted from my iPhone

The quick dismount

A quick update on the progress!  

Firstly, thank you to those who have given some money to this extremely worthwhile charity, and for the e-mails of support from those of you who already support the charity in other ways.  I find it especially heartening to hear from those of you with no military connection, who support the charity so well.

I had my final cycle today before heading off on exercise tomorrow, and I thought it was a beautiful day to practice, as I like to call it, the quick dismount (to the untrained eye, it might look like falling off) so I now sport some superb gravel rash!  

The Help for Heroes cycle shirt survived the unpronounceable Icelandic volcano dust storm, and arrived earlier this week so I now look the part.  I have also managed to pick up a few Kiwi Defence Force followers who are joining me on the cycle for some morale support.  

So a bit more on the race.  The course is an 8km loop through the forest, with some fairly technical aspects (I suspect the quick dismount will come into play again), and with an electronic chip on my bike, they will monitor the distance covered in the 6 hours allotted.

This will most likely be the one and only update before the race next weekend as, as said earlier, I am off to glorious Waiouru on exercise.  So here is the last plug....please give as much as you can!  Click on the link below, and follow the instructions.  As I said, the charity is one that is close to my heart, have a look at their website and have a look at the awesome work they do.

https://www.bmycharity.com/V2/kiwimoonride

Thank you all very much, and the next you will most likely hear will be how much I raised, and how far I managed to go!

Danger Ahead....

This is just to provide you all with fair warning.....with the advent of the Moonride, I thought that I would need an extra pair of cycling shorts.  They arrived in the post this morning, and they are tight....like tiger....

Photos will follow soon, so there is the warning!

Training is going well, although this week I have actually been quite busy at work so not been able to do too much.  I am off on exercise on Monday, but the bike will be coming with me so shouldn't be too bad!  1 week to go.

Help for Heroes Moonride

Thankfully, I suppose, there will actually be no moon involved when I am riding.  This is solely because due to me having to do a bit of work with the kiwis I can only do the 6 hour event....a small sigh of relief....

As you hopefully all now know, I have decided to do the ride to help the Help for Heroes charity.  So have a look at the webpage here and give a little or preferably a lot of cash.

Next year I will plan to go for the 24 hour ride, so here is your notice, come out for a holiday and join me!

Updates will be posted as regularly as possible, with the event taking place on 8th May.

Superb!

Hmmm Tory or BNP??

Slightly worried as the Tories and the BNP seem to be the same, or at least that is according to my political views....maybe I should go and buy a pair of Doc Martins (cherry red of course)? But do not worry Mr Cameron ( I am sure you are a faithful reader of this Blog) your vote is safe with my old man!

Sunset in Palmy

Winter is definitely on the way, with today being particularly crappy.  But as the saying goes, every cloud has a silver lining.  Tonight though they were definitely golden.

Hurricanes dah dah dah, Hurricanes lah lah lah!

On the Easter Friday (yes, it was good) we trotted off to the fine capital city of Wellington, to watch the mighty Wellington Hurricanes take on the Canterbury Crusaders in the Super 14 rugby.

To those of you that are unaware, the Super 14 competition is a tri-nation club competition from New Zealand, South Africa and Australia, and you guessed it; there are 14 teams.  Soon to be 15 with the inclusion of Melbourne next year, but that is an entirely different story.

Well dressed, and off to the game with John & Jody

So, I digress.....there we were in the nations capital, and it was a glorious day which prompted a stroll along the harbour front and a stop in the Loaded Hog for a quick squiz at the Grand Prix on the big screen, and a bite to eat.  Naturally with my plate of fish and chips, a beer was required.  I saw the Guinness, an thought that i would be sorely disappointed by this.  Now, as often happens my mind gets accidentally connected to my mouth and the barman heard of my reservations.   He was lightening quick to tell me that his Guinness had been voted the second best pint of Guinness in the world, outside of Ireland - quite an accolade i thought, and had a pint.  Result = not too bad.

Close to boiling point over 'great' ref decision

Now the beer leads me down my second ally of thought....I came across the single most ridiculous, stupid, crappy, rubbish, non-sensical, poor....etc.....law in, not only the whole of New Zealand, but in fact the world.  Get this....due to the fact that it was Good Friday the law was that in order to purchase alcohol you must purchase it with a meal (packet of peanuts did not count...).  This put an end to my wondering why so many pubs were closed, as were all supermarkets, liquor kings etc.....So, when you next see me and wonder why I have blossomed a wee bit, that is purely because I had to eat 24 full meals over he course of the day....I mean, what a crap law.

Any way, I appear to have digressed again.  What was I meant to be writing about?  Ah yes, the rugby.

Me and some random Bath gal, they get everywhere....

Being a referee myself, we have to abide by the unwritten rule that you should never ever criticise another referees decision.  But after watching this game I bit my lip more than once, and let my anger boil over in the dying minutes.  Of course the referee could hear me and will take into account my every calmly delivered word...at the top of my flaming voice....ah hem.....he was quite clearly being paid off by the Crusaders.

So there we go, the final score 26-26, with the Hurricanes mighty glad that Dan Carter can't kick to save his life.

After the game, it was a quick stroll back into town and time to order yet another full meal, just so i can have a bloody drink!  Even on reflection, the 3 stone gained was worth it.

Full time 26-26

Jocelyn shows of her German roots.....

We think that she is trying to tell us that she misses Germany....and the Germans....

Box-head......tee hee hee!

Robbery fail!

On the way home from doing the sunday shopping I heard this on the radio, and felt that it need to be shared.....

FAIRFIELD , CONNECTICUT, USA-- In another chapter of dumb criminal classics, a man and a teen from Bridgeport allegedly thought they could rob a bank the same way people order take-out food.

Police said a 27-year-old and a 16-year-old called People's United Bank on Stratfield Road about 10 minutes before they came to collect their order Tuesday afternoon. They asked for $100,000 in large bills with no dye packs inside the bag, police said.

"You can't make this stuff up," said Sgt. James Perez, Fairfield police spokesman. "They literally called the bank and said to have the bag of money ready on the floor because they're coming to rob the place. And then they actually show up as the police were rolling in. I would classify these individuals as, `Not-too-bright.' They should have spent time in school instead of trying to rob a bank."

"They threatened to create `a blood bath' on their phone call to the bank," said Fairfield police Lt. Thomas Mrozek. However, he said, the suspects did not use a weapon.

Both robbery suspects were charged with first-degree robbery and first-degree threatening. The 16-year-old was sent to an area juvenile jail, police said.

The robbers got what they ordered, he said, but "didn't expect police to be in the take-out line.

and then this!

After having just finished that last blog, there was a clatter of feet and his is was what strode into the living room....

It must be stated that these are all completely un-staged, and she just turns up in what she feels like! I am also absolutely convinced that she is cracking a salute in the second picture (and before anyone makes any comments, I know it is with the wrong hand...).

With greater independence comes greater fashion sense....

The past few posts have predominantly been focused on my manly activities of providing food for the family, my 'manly' pursuits as I like to call them. So in an effort to show my softer side and of course show off my most beautiful and fantastic daughter, here are a few snaps of her that I do not think will wait till her wedding day...

Meal times are dangerous times, and therefore protective eye-ware must be worn at all times.

In the era of the 'credit-crunch' and global recession that we find ourselves, I have now decided to adopt the practice of buying clothing that she will grow into, I reckon another 20 or so years...

So there we go, here we are on another friday, and another week gone. A bit more fishing and a round of golf are on the horizon for me on saturday, and Liz is off to do some horsey type stuff. Then the look forward to the Easter weekend, and a good 4 days off. I think a wee trip somewhere is in order...watch this space!

Not quite Hunting & Fishing material....

Well, here we are again with more of my manly exploits posted for the world to see! What we have in this picture is the almighty Red Snapper, or for those of you that are avid fans of fish; Lutjanus campechanus.

Whilst this little beauty might not make the cover of this months Hunting & Fishing magazine, I was happy with her. It was my first catch of the day and weighed in at a modest 3lbs. So not quite a whipper snapper.....hahahahhahahaha! (got to laugh at that one surely??)

The author hard at work....

All in all a top trip, and I think that somewhere along the line I did some naval gunnery with some boats...?!

Dry land!

After 3 days at sea, I need to share with you all my elation at being on terra firma....

I have gotten over my dissapointment at there being no poop deck, and have had a lot of fun on board the survey ship Star Keys. My first sea fishing has been done, awesome fun. Picture of my first catch to follow. But in the mean time I shall leave you with this snap to prove how hard I worked....honest!



- Posted from my iPhone

The Pig

A good story from the Kiwi navy frigate, the Te Kaha.

On board in the ward room, there lives a wooden pig. What his name is, I am unsure. The story goes that the Te Kaha will not sail without the pig on board, as it is their good luck mascot.

The sneaky beaky lot that dress in black were invited aboard for a party, and heard about the pig. They then subsequently plotted a raid on the boat under auspices of training. Of course said piggy was snatched.

The crew of the Te Kaha quickly worked out who the culprits were and as they were due to depart for sea demanded the return of the pig.

The SAS fellows then decided that the pig would be returned, but only under their terms.

Two officers were to dress in full ceremonial kit and go and sit outside a notoriuos gay bar in Auckland, and have a beer. Only then would the pig be returned. Desperate to get their mascot back, two unfortunate officers were duly dispatched for a shandy. Whilst sitting outside a vehicle pulled up and dumped the piggy on the pavement, complete with wings and dagger emblazened on the pigs cheek.

Awesome.




Covert picture of pig, complete with tatoo.

- Posted from my iPhone

Really?

A quick post to show my horror. About to sail with the Navy, and have found out that a poop deck does not exist on a modern day war ship... No longer sure if I want to be part of this establismsnt....


- Posted from my iPhone

It's as easy as 1,2,3...(1/2)

Step 1.

Get woken up at 0530 by grumpy child. Leave wife snoring, take care of child. Depart house for stunning stretch of river, remembering to pack fishing gear.

Step 2.

Catch decent 2 lb Rainbow Trout. Go home via McDonalds, having the Breakfast Hunger Buster meal deal.

Step 3.

Gut said fish. Bang in some lemon and butter. BBQ, whilst making comments that this was the reason you needed the bigger of the two BBQs. Mutter "...I told you so..."

Step 3 1/2.

Enjoy, whilst feeling damned manly.