A small rant.....

Dear World,

Why 'oh why are there people placed on your fine surface who, it would appear, are solely intent on buggering things up.  I refer namely to that global corporation of 'Toys R Us'.  Perhaps a name change is in order I suggest 'Shitheads R Us' or 'Fine & Helpful People R not Us'.  Either of these would be more than apt.

They let me know, and very kind of them it was, that their website was 'on the piss' (to coin a favourite Kiwi phrase of mine).  To my mind his leads to them being 1-0 up in the 'It's my fault' stakes.

I very politely let them know that these things happen, and subsequently re-order.  I ask them to deliver on the Saturday, at vast expense as I have now missed Rory's birthday.  They e-mail me saying '...thank you for my order, it will be delivered within 10 working days..."  (on the plus side, the have not charged me the vast expense).  I lose my sense of humour.  E-mail number 2 gets sent; I explain (again with no sarcasm or rude words) that their website has yet again 'gone on the piss', and please could they amend the order to be delivered on Saturday, and I took the opportunity to invite them to absorb the 'vast expense' as a small token of their "...sincere apologies..." that they previously extended.

I believe them to now be 2-0 up.

They e-mail me back.  Again I lose sense of humour.

"Dear Mr Scott..." they write, "...I apologise, but we have placed your request into the 'Too Hard Box', we couldn't possibly amend your order, because that would mean that I need to pick up the telephone and speak to Gary at the warehouse.  He would then have to cut short his tea break to find your parcel, and swap it from one postal queue to another, and like me Gary is a stellar Toys R Us employee, who takes the art of 'Can't be Arsed' to a whole new level..."


3-0 them.


I am now sitting here, quietly seething; wondering what my response shall be.....?


I am open to suggestions from the floor.


I urge all of you that read this to advise all of you friends and family to avoid Toys R Us like the plague.


Thank you world for listening, unlike those ****-knuckles at Toys R Us.


Yours sincerely,


Annoyed from Palmerston North.


P.S. If the editor of any newspaper reads this, please print.