You're on!

There appears to be some doubt out there on my carpentry abilities.

$20 appears to have already been staked on my failing the task. I will take this bet, and all others.

There will be regular updates, and of course photos. My daughter will be present during the build, so this will negate any swearing on my part - so, Carrie, that part of the bet is taken care of.

Jesus was a carpenter - if he could do it, then so can I! I will not take the walking on water challenge though.

Again, watch this space you doubting types.....!

The design I shall be adopting...

Watch this space....

Another weekend, and another shopping trip with my daughter. Not quite so exciting this weekend I am afraid. There was no red-head, and I still have my old new wife (perfect that she is).

Unfortunately this weekends shopping trip was not quite as sexy as last weeks. It was, though, far more manly. It involved a slack jawed yokel named Bret, who sold me much timber and a power sander, amongst other things. I feel i should leave it there really.

Bret didn't have the same sort of 'Pizazz' that Jessica did, although he did have has a special flair with the circular saw, as he lopped my timber down to size......

I have decided that i am going to undertake a new project, and that it the building of a pub style bench/table. With BBQ season now on top of us, we will need somewhere to sit. As i was driving through town, i saw some of these for sale for a whacking NZ$99 (that is £42.64, or CA$74.63, or AU$77.40 for those of you from different nations). Always on the look out for a bargain, off i trotted to the local DIY place and picked up the requisite timber for a mere NZ$30 (if you want the conversions, do them yourself).

I have a sander, a saw, some nails, some protective woodstain, a Black and Decker Workmate and probably most importantly, the timber. How hard can this be? All you have to do is look at my previous carpentry, and you will have as much faith as I do; the door hanging - easy.

And if all else fails, Dad will be here in 3 weeks! Watch this space!

Liz has been creative as well! The bench will be better!

Who knew cardboard boxes could be so much fun?

At 42" England were big losers...!

I sit here now totally impressed with the tag-line pun I have just created. Before putting it in I ran it past my new wife (reason to follow), and she said at most it caused "...mild mirth..." at least she didn't say "...followed by sympathy...” Anyhow, I suppose I had better explain.

My new wife turned up on Saturday. She looks kind of like my old (yet devastatingly beautiful) wife, but different. I left my old wife at the hairdressers, and wandered off into town with Jocelyn staggering along beside me (it was a very, very slow wander. In fact it took me almost 45 minutes to go 100m). I eventually totally succumbed to the power of advertising and entered the "SUPER SATURDAY" sale in Harvey Norman (for the non Kiwi amongst you, it is a big department store akin to John Lewis). Being male, and without wife I headed straight for the electrical department thinking that I might be able to pick up a plug or maybe a new 13 amp fuse on the cheap. That is when Jessica sidetracked me. A red head in tight jeans, knee-high boots and tight T-shirt (before you start wondering, this is not my new wife). She asked me if she could help in any way, and not wanting to admit that I was on the scrounge for a new 13 amp fuse or something equally trivial said I was in the market for a brand new plasma screen TV.... fatal mistake. Jessica asked me what size I was after, and I again felt that my manliness was under intense scrutiny...was 32" to small, or 50" boasting?? So I took the middle ground and opted for 42". After selecting the 'Jo Average 42" I was faced with a plethora of new options, "...would Sir consider full HD or HD Ready? Will Sir require a Neo-Plasma or standard, bearing in mind that Neo-Plasma will reduce your carbon footprint? Gaming or not gaming? Sports or no sport?..." The barrage of questions was relentless. That is when Jocelyn took over. With Ice Age 3 playing on the sets, Jocelyn kindly crawled up and selected the screen on which Sid the Sloth was clearest and pleased her the most. Thankfully it was the non Neo-Plasma environment destruction model (I can't stand it when people talk to me about my carbon footprint). I was now so far down the line, and couldn't stand to disappoint my daughter, so I bought it. But only after I had the surge protector and screen cleaner thrown in...

In the end though I am glad to report that victory was mine! Jocelyn charmed Jessica enough that she threw in a Multi Coloured Turtle Massager.

Any way, I have digressed hugely. We wandered (slowly) out of Harvey Normans feeling good, and back to the salon where I had left my wife. I walked in and she was gone. I thought maybe she out the back having a blow dry and rinse (I believe that is what you females have done at these places) so I took a seat. Jocelyn ventured off and on my way to retrieve her; a stunning blonde caught my eye. I had the kind of guilty second glance that married men sometimes do, and realised that.... BONUS.......it was indeed my wife! Amazing what a new snip and bit of colour can do. (If anyone has any better ideas on how to phrase that last sentence without sounded hugely chauvinistic, let me know so I can change it).

So, there we go. A new T.V and a new wife. Excellent. Oh yeah and a Multi Coloured Turtle massager. Mega.

"Boris the Multi Coloured Turtle Massager"

"My 'new' wife and Baby J, the best TV chooser in town"

P.S - Tag line pun was to indicate that I had watched England loose to the All Blacks on my new super huge TV. In case you hadn't worked it out.

It's been a while!

Dear on-line diary....this has been neglected somewhat in recent days, so I shall attempt to resurect my random thoughts and 'stuff'.

A lot has happened since the last typings, including a little bit of work, a lot of play and a trip to the UK and back.

Starting with the work, I have been down to the South Island to a beautiful area called Lake Tekapo which sits in the shadow of Mount Cook and then proceeded to blow it up for 2 weeks. I felt a little guilty....I learnt a lot about my kiwi colleagues, and mainly that some of them have some super crazy ideas. The best must have been at the end of the exercise when we were approached by the guy running the show, and he asked (no word of a lie..) "....what you need to do now is go back into the training area and fill in all the holes you lot made..." I thought he was joking, and told him so, adding that he wasn't very funny....it turned out that he was deadly serious... I had to then explain to him that when a round lands, the dirt doesn't pile up neatly round the edges.....idiot....and that we had also fired nearly 2,000 rounds and that, quite frankly he could poke it....(I might have left the last part out....)

All in all it was a good exercise, the weather did the whole 4 seasons in a day thing but i am getting used to that out here! Never in my army career to date have I been to a training area and thought "...I am going to come back here......on holiday...", that is until now. We will be going back to Lake Tekapo over Summer. It is quite lovely.

Mount Cook

The "Old Church" Lake Tekapo

The play part has also been fun. Again, a few lessons learnt. The prime one being do not go drinking in on your birthday and spend till 4 in the morning getting people out of nick. It was a bloody good night though, and dare I say it, well worth the hassle!

We all trooped down to a food and wine festival in the Martinborough region last weekend with a couple of friends. As I had only returned from the UK the day before, i was feeling a little jet-lagged still and offered to be the sober driver. I quickly realised that this had been a rubbish idea, as not only were there some awesome wines on offer, but your ticket was a wine glass that fitted on a string around your neck...convenient huh? What a shame not to use it?! Luck was on my side as on the drive down, I had to pull over for one of the passengers (not Jocelyn) to decorate the pavement. The were automatically promoted to the position of driver, and i got on it! Drinking red-wine at 10am is cool. I put it down to the fact that I was on UK time still, and that i was indeed late for drink and should have started ay 7. The whole day was awesome, and we will be going next year for sure - i recommend you make the trip and join us.

Liz enjoying a blustery vino

Los Familio

And finally, you should all have a look at: http://gallery.me.com/chris.scott1530#100084

More to follow soon!

A long weekend away

Hi everyone, my apologies for not keeping up this blog while Christopher is away. As you can probably imagine, I've been very busy doing wifely tasks, cooking, washing, ironing, cleaning etc etc... Boo hoo.

So. This weekend I went away for 3 days with my friend Izzy to her family home towards the north of the island in a place called Tauranga. We stayed with her grandpa because his house is biggest, and he lives right on the edge of an estuary just over the water from Mount Maunganui. He grows organic avocados, apples, oranges and lemons for fun, and also takes part in soil research about the effects of organic farming methods on soil organisms. The house has a glorious view over the estuary as it is elevated about 50m above the water on the side of a fairly steep hill, which is where the orchard grows. Lucky old Izzy grew up here on the sea and took me kayaking round the coast and showed me the places she used to play with her cousins, who have for the most part also built houses within walking distance. Glorious!

We had a morning in Mount Maungaui and walked around the Mount, which is the inside of an old volcano, I forget what you call the feature but I expect most of you know what I mean - the rock around the outside has been eroded away just leaving a column of hard rock in the middle. It's very pretty and has a lovely little seaside town with (heaven forbid) high rise blocks of flats on the sea front. The cause a lot of consternation round here - they spoil the view, you see. Everyone was also concerned by the number of visitors the town had for so early on in the season. Mmm, not nearly as busy as Hastings on a weekday, but for NZ that is a lot of people!

We stopped into a craft fair on the way to the Irish pub for lunch, where I had a wonderful pint of Guinness - better than most you find in the UK, which surprised me! Of course I forgot to take the camera with me but with any luck we will get a return invitation and I will do better, I promise.

We also had a guided tour of some cousins houses. they grow chicken and pigs and sheep and horses and doves and turtles, and Jocelyn thoroughly enjoyed seeing them. She is very interested in all sorts of animals and was chatting away to them in a friendly fashion. Seems like a love of nature runs in the family - perhaps she will be a famous zoologist one day!

On Monday morning before we left we had a tour of Izzy's dad's greenhouse. He is French and has acquired a strange accent over his years in NZ. He grows a kind of lily, can't remember what it is called but here is the one he cut for me:

He also grows the most amazing orchids in there for fun, and those dangly air plants. Outside he has hemp, banana, raspberry and macademia. He gave me a big bag of macademias which should be ready in time for Christmas, as long as we can get them out of their shells. Apparently a hammer and a flat rock will do the trick. Sounds like a man's task.

On the way home (a good 5 1/2 hours drive) we stopped at Taupo to take a look at Huka (said Hooker) falls. This is one of the Islands biggest hydroelectricity farms as the water from the lake is channelled through a very narrow and shallow gorge at high speed. You can also white water raft down it, which looks like a whole bunch of fun!

So that was my weekend! It was great fun and the countryside is stunningly beautiful. With any luck we will go back up there and look around some more soon!

Huka Falls, looking upstream

A Tui, the other national bird, the one the beer is named for. Has a puff of white feathers at his throat like a dandy! Drinks the nectar from this tree, gets drunk and falls off, which is probably where New Zealanders got the idea from.

Huka Falls, the fall part. The water is so blue because it is very clear and the bubbles reflect the colour of the sky. Aah.

No time for Blogging, I have done a days work!

I feel I must let you all know that I have completed a full days work, for the the first time since arriving in New Zealand! I believe that it would nearly be called a full days work in Englandistan as well? In work for 0745, and home at 1715......wow.......

I am almost too tired to type......

So since the last entry, what has been going on? Probably the highlight was the boys night out in Wellington, which involved the Australia vs All Blacks game a huge amount of drinking, and a nightclub called Boogie Wonderland....did I mention the 6"10 transvestite??

I feel that the less said about the transvestite, the better. To cut a long story short i was drunk, he/she was massive, and Liz was in a different post code....

The game was good though, I proudly wore my england shirt, and took a bit of abuse. Neither side seemed to be able to accept the argument that you are only as good as your last World Cup, or in their case, as good as your last two World Cups....I barely escaped with my life (that applies to both the rugby and the tranny).

I shall leave it there, with some photos of the match....

The Westpac Stadium in Wellington

Another England Fan!!

(and a right stunner sat behind me.......the Tranny was better looking!)

Snowboarding and other such stuff

Where to begin? It has been a busy few days, we've had two new cars, been snowboarding, bought a new mountain bike, discovered the funniest sounding food on the planet and picked a name for a dog that we haven't even bought yet (and probably not going to buy).

So, i think i shall start with the non-dog. It kind of coincides with the snowboarding trip. We decided to go with some friends up to Mount Ruapehu and to get good parking we had to leave at 6am. On route we stopped off for some petrol (the kiwis complain with the price being 66p/litre...they don't know they are born....) and being in dire need of coffee i wandered in for a quick 'flat white', not fancying a cheese and meat pie for breakfast, i looked at the chocolate selection. A bar a Cadburys starred back at me, and i had to do a double take to ensure i had read the name correctly. Yes i had. The name of this fine bar of chocolate was Scroggin. Maybe because it was so early i found this very funny, and the rest of the journey assed with various conversation centered around the word Scroggin. Jocelyn is now referred to as "..the wee Scroggin", and this is the name that we have decided to give to our next dog. What a combo they would have been...Muppet and Scroggin. Just to prove this to be fact -

http://www.cadbury.co.nz/Products/Blocks-of-Chocolate/Energy-Scroggin.aspx

So onto the snowboarding itself. Mount Ruapehu is a small resort, built on the side of a volcano. We are coming to the end of the season over here, and the snow was not great. It was however good enough! There is a huge amount of off-piste (or 'track' as the call it) and that is where the enjoyment really lies. The photos of steep drops, and wide open mountain that i had seen previously were done justice to what we experienced. It was brilliant. The wee Scroggin had her first snow experience, and loved it. Liz and i took it in turns to go and board, whilst Jocelyn crawled in the snow and did some elementary sledging. I am afraid to report, however, that the European influence of poor taste all-in-one ski suits has manifested itself over here...it is not a good look. The 2 1/2 hour drive to the mountain was thoroughly worth it, and we will be investing in a season pass for next year, no doubt at all!

At the bottom of the Mountain

The off-piste was simply brilliant

The "Wee Scroggin" enjoying the snow!

Now onto the car saga....after careful consideration, and pre-purchase tests, we purchased a Toyota Harrier from a dealer. 2 days later, on flashes the engine warning lights and traction control switches off....hmmmm....not too good i thought. Off we trot to the Toyota garage and ask their opinion...the mechanic looked slightly surprised when i told him the problem, when i asked why the surprise he told me that a car dealer had brought in a Toyota Harrier the morning that we bought the car with exactly the same problem....yes you guessed it, it was the same car. $300 to fix.....understandably, i was less than amused so went and had a very closed door chat with old Luke at 'Adopt-a-Car'. Liz was told to wait outside. We now have a second 'new' car whilst our other one is being fixed and warranties written. I was very close to doing some proper English style "Tramping"...

So finally onto the new bike. Liz's bike made it through customs in one piece, and we have quickly realised that a good way to see a lot of the country is by bike. So I bought a bike and a seat for Scroggin Jnr. The seat was brilliant fun. The shop sold it to us and offered to fix it to the bike for a nominal fee of $25. Being all manly, i said to the man "...how hard can it be?" he looked at me and said "...you will find out...and if you want to bring it back, then feel free." Well this was like a red rag to a bull. My manly-ness was on the line, failure was not an option. The instructions were in Chinese, and soon got binned. All it took was 3 hours, a huge amount of bad language, 16 different screw drivers, a chisel, several bastardised nuts and bolts and a power drill. It looked just like the picture on the box. I was so glad when we managesd a 20km cycle without it falling apart! McScroggin enjoyed it as well!

A well engineered bike seat indeed!

And that, folks, is all for now!