You're on!

There appears to be some doubt out there on my carpentry abilities.

$20 appears to have already been staked on my failing the task. I will take this bet, and all others.

There will be regular updates, and of course photos. My daughter will be present during the build, so this will negate any swearing on my part - so, Carrie, that part of the bet is taken care of.

Jesus was a carpenter - if he could do it, then so can I! I will not take the walking on water challenge though.

Again, watch this space you doubting types.....!

The design I shall be adopting...

Watch this space....

Another weekend, and another shopping trip with my daughter. Not quite so exciting this weekend I am afraid. There was no red-head, and I still have my old new wife (perfect that she is).

Unfortunately this weekends shopping trip was not quite as sexy as last weeks. It was, though, far more manly. It involved a slack jawed yokel named Bret, who sold me much timber and a power sander, amongst other things. I feel i should leave it there really.

Bret didn't have the same sort of 'Pizazz' that Jessica did, although he did have has a special flair with the circular saw, as he lopped my timber down to size......

I have decided that i am going to undertake a new project, and that it the building of a pub style bench/table. With BBQ season now on top of us, we will need somewhere to sit. As i was driving through town, i saw some of these for sale for a whacking NZ$99 (that is £42.64, or CA$74.63, or AU$77.40 for those of you from different nations). Always on the look out for a bargain, off i trotted to the local DIY place and picked up the requisite timber for a mere NZ$30 (if you want the conversions, do them yourself).

I have a sander, a saw, some nails, some protective woodstain, a Black and Decker Workmate and probably most importantly, the timber. How hard can this be? All you have to do is look at my previous carpentry, and you will have as much faith as I do; the door hanging - easy.

And if all else fails, Dad will be here in 3 weeks! Watch this space!

Liz has been creative as well! The bench will be better!

Who knew cardboard boxes could be so much fun?

At 42" England were big losers...!

I sit here now totally impressed with the tag-line pun I have just created. Before putting it in I ran it past my new wife (reason to follow), and she said at most it caused "...mild mirth..." at least she didn't say "...followed by sympathy...” Anyhow, I suppose I had better explain.

My new wife turned up on Saturday. She looks kind of like my old (yet devastatingly beautiful) wife, but different. I left my old wife at the hairdressers, and wandered off into town with Jocelyn staggering along beside me (it was a very, very slow wander. In fact it took me almost 45 minutes to go 100m). I eventually totally succumbed to the power of advertising and entered the "SUPER SATURDAY" sale in Harvey Norman (for the non Kiwi amongst you, it is a big department store akin to John Lewis). Being male, and without wife I headed straight for the electrical department thinking that I might be able to pick up a plug or maybe a new 13 amp fuse on the cheap. That is when Jessica sidetracked me. A red head in tight jeans, knee-high boots and tight T-shirt (before you start wondering, this is not my new wife). She asked me if she could help in any way, and not wanting to admit that I was on the scrounge for a new 13 amp fuse or something equally trivial said I was in the market for a brand new plasma screen TV.... fatal mistake. Jessica asked me what size I was after, and I again felt that my manliness was under intense scrutiny...was 32" to small, or 50" boasting?? So I took the middle ground and opted for 42". After selecting the 'Jo Average 42" I was faced with a plethora of new options, "...would Sir consider full HD or HD Ready? Will Sir require a Neo-Plasma or standard, bearing in mind that Neo-Plasma will reduce your carbon footprint? Gaming or not gaming? Sports or no sport?..." The barrage of questions was relentless. That is when Jocelyn took over. With Ice Age 3 playing on the sets, Jocelyn kindly crawled up and selected the screen on which Sid the Sloth was clearest and pleased her the most. Thankfully it was the non Neo-Plasma environment destruction model (I can't stand it when people talk to me about my carbon footprint). I was now so far down the line, and couldn't stand to disappoint my daughter, so I bought it. But only after I had the surge protector and screen cleaner thrown in...

In the end though I am glad to report that victory was mine! Jocelyn charmed Jessica enough that she threw in a Multi Coloured Turtle Massager.

Any way, I have digressed hugely. We wandered (slowly) out of Harvey Normans feeling good, and back to the salon where I had left my wife. I walked in and she was gone. I thought maybe she out the back having a blow dry and rinse (I believe that is what you females have done at these places) so I took a seat. Jocelyn ventured off and on my way to retrieve her; a stunning blonde caught my eye. I had the kind of guilty second glance that married men sometimes do, and realised that.... BONUS.......it was indeed my wife! Amazing what a new snip and bit of colour can do. (If anyone has any better ideas on how to phrase that last sentence without sounded hugely chauvinistic, let me know so I can change it).

So, there we go. A new T.V and a new wife. Excellent. Oh yeah and a Multi Coloured Turtle massager. Mega.

"Boris the Multi Coloured Turtle Massager"

"My 'new' wife and Baby J, the best TV chooser in town"

P.S - Tag line pun was to indicate that I had watched England loose to the All Blacks on my new super huge TV. In case you hadn't worked it out.

It's been a while!

Dear on-line diary....this has been neglected somewhat in recent days, so I shall attempt to resurect my random thoughts and 'stuff'.

A lot has happened since the last typings, including a little bit of work, a lot of play and a trip to the UK and back.

Starting with the work, I have been down to the South Island to a beautiful area called Lake Tekapo which sits in the shadow of Mount Cook and then proceeded to blow it up for 2 weeks. I felt a little guilty....I learnt a lot about my kiwi colleagues, and mainly that some of them have some super crazy ideas. The best must have been at the end of the exercise when we were approached by the guy running the show, and he asked (no word of a lie..) "....what you need to do now is go back into the training area and fill in all the holes you lot made..." I thought he was joking, and told him so, adding that he wasn't very funny....it turned out that he was deadly serious... I had to then explain to him that when a round lands, the dirt doesn't pile up neatly round the edges.....idiot....and that we had also fired nearly 2,000 rounds and that, quite frankly he could poke it....(I might have left the last part out....)

All in all it was a good exercise, the weather did the whole 4 seasons in a day thing but i am getting used to that out here! Never in my army career to date have I been to a training area and thought "...I am going to come back here......on holiday...", that is until now. We will be going back to Lake Tekapo over Summer. It is quite lovely.

Mount Cook

The "Old Church" Lake Tekapo

The play part has also been fun. Again, a few lessons learnt. The prime one being do not go drinking in on your birthday and spend till 4 in the morning getting people out of nick. It was a bloody good night though, and dare I say it, well worth the hassle!

We all trooped down to a food and wine festival in the Martinborough region last weekend with a couple of friends. As I had only returned from the UK the day before, i was feeling a little jet-lagged still and offered to be the sober driver. I quickly realised that this had been a rubbish idea, as not only were there some awesome wines on offer, but your ticket was a wine glass that fitted on a string around your neck...convenient huh? What a shame not to use it?! Luck was on my side as on the drive down, I had to pull over for one of the passengers (not Jocelyn) to decorate the pavement. The were automatically promoted to the position of driver, and i got on it! Drinking red-wine at 10am is cool. I put it down to the fact that I was on UK time still, and that i was indeed late for drink and should have started ay 7. The whole day was awesome, and we will be going next year for sure - i recommend you make the trip and join us.

Liz enjoying a blustery vino

Los Familio

And finally, you should all have a look at: http://gallery.me.com/chris.scott1530#100084

More to follow soon!